Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Ramblings from week 10

Week 10 now and it feels like I have hit a wall when it comes to assignments. I love what I am doing, but some of the assignments and the restrictions that are applied to the assignments seem kind of stupid.

I've been working on the current assignment for a few days now, and started it far too late. It's one that is overly frustrating and makes me want to tear my hair out. Although I keep on telling myself that it will be okay and I will have it completed to hand in on time.

It feels like summer has finally left and the days are much cooler (although I know a lot of people would disagree with me, but what do you expect from a girl who has grown up in the sub-tropics?). The cooler weather is probably not helping with my motivation to get this work done, because all I want to do is curl back up in bed under a blanket and read ghost stories or histories that are ignored by most historians.

I have my assignment open in a different window on my computer and sitting in front of me is a self-bribe to complete the work, although it's not having much affect (or is that effect... I always get those words confused). While the sun is shining outside the window a cool breeze is blowing into the room I am in and even with the birds singing it feels far too quiet here. And for the first time since starting this blog earlier in the year I am consciously writing in it as a form of procrastination. Rather foolishly I might add, since the assignment in the other window is due tomorrow and I still have mountains of writing and research to do.

That aside I have been doing well, and my results thus far have been better than I could have expected. And have felt enthused enough to apply for an intensive course over the winter break. Just a small update, and moment of procrastination and I have to get back to this assignment.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The strange things about nursing school

Before going to nursing school I studied acting and the one thing that continues to amaze me is the different attitudes people have about the human body. When I studied acting people were so comfortable with their bodies and those of other people. It wasn't all that unusual for people to walk around the school getting changed and there were even classes where nudity wasn't considered out of place.

Cut to a few years later and nursing school and the level of comfort people have with bodies is so different. While studying acting I never once heard somebody go "ewww, I have to touch somebody", however at nursing school I have lost count of the people that have said "ewww, you mean I have to touch them"...

Week 8... Not too long to go!

Wow, I can't believe that it's nearly the end of week eight... It's kind of scary since there are only 13 weeks in the semester.

I've finally got some results back for some of my assessment. I got an 18.5 out of 25 for the seminar I did back at the beginning of the semester... Not a bad result, but I would like to do better, but I did use it as an opportunity to get feedback on what I can do to improve for next time.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty hard for me and my anxiety has been making it hard. I've still been managing to get my assessments handed in, although I don't feel like they were up to the standard I should be doing. However, I have been finding it hard to focus and have had a day or two where I missed lectures due to feeling like I was on the verge of having an anxiety or panic attack.

I have used the last couple of weeks to try and motivate myself to be more organised and get more work done early. I have also realised that I need more balance in my life. Last night I caught up with some friends and saw a movie and was more relaxed than I have been in weeks.

I still love the course (if not all of the lecturers) and am happier than I have been in such a long time...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Lost and Found: Surviving Holidays and Keeping Motivated

Last day before heading back to classes, and the time I could have spent studying is over, not wasted, but lost.

Somewhere in the last week leading up to the break/study week I started to get scared and anxious and all the good work I had been doing seemed to become lost, along with my motivation. Anxiety had reared it´s head, and I seemed to be swallowed by the beast. I knew what I should be doing, but I started to question myself and if I should really be at nursing school and if I would make a good nurse. I became mildly depressed because of all the ¨I should¨ thoughts running through my head.

Last night we had some people over for dinner, including somebody who was a nurse and currently working as a nurse manager. We got talking and while I don´t have any stories of my own to share yet, I listened to the stories, I got to laugh, gasp and have input... And somewhere in all that I found myself reminded of why I was doing this.

This morning I awoke with a renewed desire to become a nurse and renewed motivation. I´m going to have to work hard at playing catch-up with the last couple of weeks and to get my assignments up to date, but I want to now and I have reason to.